the things i have seen

i tried to write a poem about my frustrations of a scarred eye. it was going to be about seeing life half-out-of-focus. i was going to describe the spotty halos that surround LEDs that seem to be everywhere in our all-digital lives. i was going to try and explain, through verse and poetic diction, the feeling of realizing that no matter how many times i clean my glasses, my vision will not improve. i was going to tell a story of waking up each day, wishing that i will see the crisp red numbers on my clock when i open my right eye…. and then the realization that that may never happen again. i was going to tell you about the small green index card with a qur’anic prayer that my mom placed in my pillow cover, without a mention. i was going to write how i spent those several painful weeks, laying in my brother’s room, listening to music alone… second guessing any decisions or actions that may have led to my infection. i was going to remind myself of the angry emotions every time i heard the selfish beeps of my alarm waking me throughout the day and night, signaling me to drop more poison onto my eye. i was going to share the embarrassment of reentering the public eye, with only one eye. i was going to write a poem, but i didn’t, because i am fortunate for the things i do have. and although my vision is not perfect, i have already seen things that i would have never seen.